Dear Dani: I Can’t Decide Whether Or Not To Break Up With My Partner

Your love and relationship questions answered.

Once a month, I’ll be answering one of your questions about love and relationships. Want to submit a question? DM me on Instagram.

Q. How do I know when it’s time to leave a 15-year relationship?

The first thing I’m going to say might surprise you: you don’t need to rush into making any decisions right now. I’m not of the belief that these things should be rushed. This doesn’t mean I’m advocating to suppress or ignore what might be a very real desire to break up with your partner. Instead, it’s an invitation to trust the natural unfolding of life and our role within it. Clarity comes from attunement. By waiting, it doesn’t mean “do nothing” but instead, take action in a different way: create a deep form of enquiry, observing your feelings, the dynamic between the two of you and the intuitive knowing inside yourself. With time, you may discover that love is still present, or that leaving can be clear and graceful, rather than fraught and impulsive. Allow the situation time to reveal more.